It is 11:32 AM. I got a call about an hour and a half ago that my cousin was being taken off of the ventilator that’s been helping her breathe for about a week now. This, in all honesty, looks like the last round of her fight with cancer and all of its effects.
About three months ago, I got the phone call to call a social worker in a hospital to help make some end-of-life decisions for a father who was actively in my life for maybe 3 years. He had a stroke. This being the third stroke and the most severe yet. I was told he had no quality of life, was paralyzed on his right side and was being fed by a tube up his nose.
My nephew whom I really don’t know stabbed an infant to death. Everyone who does know him says he’s not himself anymore. He hasn’t been for awhile. This unknown boy has been diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Last summer, for a third time I was called home to be at the hospital with my aunt who wasn’t going to make it. Yes, the third time for her being rushed to the hospital and the third time we were told she wouldn’t make it.
This is life. This is my life. What do you do when you believe Jesus Christ is the savior of all who believes in Him and life continues to shift in seismic waves? What do you do when you’ve been praying for a cure and healing and you don’t see it?
I pray and intercede for their souls and I worship. I worship when life makes absolutely no sense. I don’t see the healing but I know He’s a healer. This is 2 Corinthians 5:7 lived out. God is good no matter what. Life hurts, He heals. He knows His plan in all of our lives; He knows the number of our days. We are all appointed to die at least once and with that, there will be mourning but there is a comfort to know I am still in His love. Worship takes me from meditating on my pain to meditating on His unfailing goodness. My aunt passed away. Just the weekend before she was able to celebrate her daughter’s return from Afghanistan, surrounded for the first time by all of her grandchildren. And although she died, God showed us His healing power in her twice before. My nephew is on medication in a mental facility and now has some understanding of what he did. His life is a cautionary tale: it is believed that he ingested a synthetic drug, no one is sure if he knew what it was or not but his intent was to get high. With this current atmosphere of glorifying drug use (pills, molly, spice, etc…), prayerfully his life will serve as a reality check to what really happens with substance abuse. My dad was discharged from the hospital, able to eat, and although very weak, not paralyzed. This is God showing His hand, again. As for my cousin, I am waiting on a phone call right now. I am not special. I’m just convinced that God is the Author and Finisher and His work is always good. No matter the outcome, God is still good and for this I worship.